Lapsed Blogger

Yes, Kaye, I hear you. Which is why I'm posting this itsy bitsy note just to let everyone know: yes, I'm still here among the world of the living. (Whether or not I'm alive is still debatable.)

It's Monday again (after a long weekend due to the holiday last November 30 - Bonifacio Day - yey!) and I'm looking forward to it because... I'm craving Starbucks' Peppermint Mocha. Mmmmm. Of course, I'm not just in it for the free planner. Really.

Only in the Philippines

I got this email from an Aunt living abroad that struck a poignant note inside me. You might have read through some (or all) of this through forwarded emails or Friendster bulletins already (I know I have). It is funny (because you know it's true and must even have experienced it at one time or another) and sad (because you know it's true and shouldn't be) at the same time. Read on.

Disclaimer: I am copying over the exact text of the email and did not write or make any claims to any part of it.

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When I travel, people often ask me why I live in the Philippines? Well here it is.....

It is the only place on earth where......

1. Every street has a basketball court.

2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.

3. Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.

4. Students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.

5. School is considered the second home and the mall considered the third.

6. Call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.

7. Everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.

8. Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.

9. Everything can be forged.

10. All kinds of animals are edible.

11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.

12. Driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.

13. Flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.

14. Crossing the street involves running for your dear life.

15. The personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.

16. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!

17. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.

18. People can pay to defy the law.

19. Everything and everyone is spoofed.

20. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger (peke)!

21. The honking of car horns is a way of life.

22. Being called a bum is never offensive.

23. Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.

24. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.

25. Where wearing your national colors make you baduy.

26. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM-galing sa magnanakaw)

27. Where insurance does not work.

28. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.

29. Clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).

30. Where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!)

31. Where University of the Philippines where all the weird people go.

32. Ateneo is where all the nerds go.

33. La Salle is where all the Chinese go.

34. College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go and;

35. University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.

36. Fast food is a diet meal.

37. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.

38. Where being mugged is normal and it happens to everyone.

39. Rodents are normal house pets.

40. The definition of traffic is the 'non-movement' of vehicles.

41. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements and;

42. The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.

43. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.

44. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.

45. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment.

46. People can get away with stealing trillions of pesos but not a thousand.

47. Where being an hour late is still considered punctual (Grabe talaga 'to!)

48. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not pay their tax) than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries.

49. And where everyone wants to leave the country!


FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:

1. The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.

2. Anita Bakery

3. A 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day & Night

4. Barber shop called Felix The Cut;

5. A bakery named Bread Pitt

6. Fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey.

7. Then, there are Christopher Plumbing

8. A boutique called The Way We Wear

9. A video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental

10. A restaurant in Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken

11. A local burger restaurant called Mang Donald's

12. A doughnut shop called MacDonuts

13. A shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll

14. And two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis.

Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the 'Taglish'

(The Philippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy Filipino such as:)

15. At a restaurant menu in Cebu: We hab sopdrink in can an in batol

[translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle].

16. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises

[translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces]

There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words but they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to 'correct' them like.......

17. In a restaurant in Baguio City, the 'summer capital' of the Philippines: Wanted: Boy Waitress

18. On a highway in Pampanga: We Make Modern Antique Furniture

19. On the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan: We Shoot You While You Wait

20. And on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue in Manila: Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier.

Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression such as:

21. A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: We Sell Imported Robber Shoes (these could be the 'sneakiest' sneakers);

22. A rental property sign in Jaro reads: House For Rent, Fully Furnaced (it must really be hot inside!)

23. Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique - if not altogether odd.

City in southern Philippines which said: Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50 centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation.

24. European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia - which are owned and operated by two local Chinese entrepreneurs, Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively - (believe it or not)!

25. Some folks also 'creatively' redesign English to be more efficient. The creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new words, says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a sign .....

House Fersallarend (house for sale or rent).

Why use five words when two will do?

26. According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit in the Philippines because we are a country where a good sense of humor is needed to survive. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of politicians and bad actors.

Now I ask you where else in the world would one want to live?

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Girly Day

Last Friday, it being a business-casual day, I went to work wearing a skirt. I walked in the door at 9am sharp to see people crowding around an officemate's pasalubong from the States. Seeing me (but not yet seeing the skirt), he waved me over to join the masses crowding around the various chocolates on his desk. So I went around my cubicle and they went whoa! It was sooooooo satisfying and amusing watching everyone's jaws drop open. Yes, call me shameless for enjoying everyone's shock. But it was really funny - I got similar reactions throughout the day.

Let me tell you, it was a heady experience having people who thought they knew you make a double-take every time you passed by. *smirk*

Note to self: must do this more often - not "this" as in wear a skirt, but something unexpected. *evil laugh*

Maybe I should declare Girly Day more often... say once every two months? Or not. It's so much fun to just spring it on people. Well, it doesn't have to be a skirt everytime... oooooh, the ideas! *grin* I think I might have awakened the little she-devil inside me. Mwahahahaha!

Nine-One-Two Thousand and Seven

Another year has gone by, indeed.

What has gone on in my life since September 1, 2006?

Marian and Jhong rolled-off the project - September 2006 (or thereabouts, I forget the exact dates).
Went to Baguio (insert shivering smiley here) - October 2006.
Phine left the company - end of October 2006.
November 2006 - what happened here???
Went for my usual 2-week Christmas vacation - December 2006.
Tina left the company - end of December 2006.
Dence left the company - end of February 2007.
Went to Boracay (yahooo!!) - March 2007.
Liza left the company - mid-March 2007.
Went home for the Holy Week - April 2007.
Started with ASR7 (got on-loaned to a support/development team for 3 months) - April 2007.
Went home for the elections and had dental operation - May 2007.
June 2007 - went by in a blur due to work... this is soo sad... I have no life...
End of ASR7, went back to support team - July 2007.
Jeng left the company - end of July 2007.
August 2007 - also went by in a blur due to the insanity of that CIO MTV.. *cries*
Jiggz rolled-off the project - mid-August 2007.

I find it a bit telling that half of my entries above consisted of notes about people leaving the company. Of course, the fact that these people merited a note here means they weren't simple colleagues/work acquaintances. Maybe in 5 years or so, it won't quite grate on me to remember these dates. Maybe by then I'll just recall this year as that year the Web family officially got disbanded. I use the term "disbanded" a bit loosely here - but without going too much into the details, I know those who had "been there" will get it.

(Well, I never thought a little looking back would make me depressed, but now it has. Should have known better, really. I don't know why it still catches me by surprise when I should be used to it by now. I'm still a little raw, I guess. And this is going to go on for days yet, so just a fair warning to all if my blogging goes a little... dark from here on.)

I caught a little fever the day before my birthday - I know, I know, what else did I expect after a whole month of not sleeping well plus that last stretch last week... sometimes I really think I'm a sadist to myself (wait, so does that mean I'm my own masochist?... right, let's go back to safer territory). I can't help but feel a little touch of foreboding here. Sure, I laugh in the face of superstition (my own late grandmother must be turning in her grave right now) but I can't help but worry at the timing of these things, you know? From where I'm looking at it, it doesn't look much like a good sign. In fact, if I must go with my anito-worshiping ancestors, it's like a harbringer of, oh heavens, worse things to come. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!

Thankfully, it was gone by the time September 1 rolled around. So I went with some cousins of mine for dinner at our Uncle's place. It was a triple celebration - my birthday, my Uncle's birthday also on Sept 1, and my cousin's passing of the Nursing Board Exam. I... felt a little guilty when reminded that I have not been keeping in touch, and that my uncle has been looking for me for ages. Turns out I was his favorite back when I was a toddler and he was still a bachelor who hang out at our house every weekend. I think it's really true when even his wife told me I was all he would talk about back when she was still his girlfriend. *Awwww* I don't really remember much, truth to tell, but I think I remember a picture of him somewhere in my album. I'll check it again next time I come home. Also, I finally met in person my Grandma's sister (Uncle's mother) - whom I missed meeting before because I was always in absentia during reunions. I keep telling my parents to tell me about these things months, okay, weeks, in advance; apparently, they've taken this to mean texting me when it's over - "Hey, your Aunt So-and-So is in Manila airport right now on the way back to the States, see if you can drop by to see her" "Mooooooooooomm!!!" or "Hi kid, what's up? Your Aunts So-and-So and your cousins from Davao are here enjoying the sights and the beach. Your Kuya and his family is also here. We'll be staying over at Grandma's place tonight...". Way to go, Dad. Be sure to tape everything and send me a copy when it's over, huh?

It's just one of the sacrifices of living away from home, I guess. If you've never experienced this, you're lucky. Or unlucky, depending on your point of view, nyahahaha. It could be I've just been away for too long and thus miss these stuff. I might be saying another thing if I was home right now being barraged by an endless stream of guests. Or not. Okay, maybe if it was an endless stream of screaming children. Blegh, the thought.

Swamped

Wow, I have not posted a thing for near a month!

Obviously, I've been swamped with work (and speaking of "swamped", why do the floodwaters insist on converging on my doorstep when there's a perfectly serviceable river not a hundred meters or so away? But I digress.) The development release I was working on for the past 3 months is finally done (technically, it was finished a month ago, but there's a sort of 1-month warranty clause). Now I'm back in the production support team, relearning the steps (though it doesn't quite feel the same as getting back on a bike). I'm transitioning to a new role as well, which is exciting even as it brings with it different kinds of stress. Though that's to be expected. Plus, I have not had a free night or a complete weekend to myself for almost a month now, too, due to the extracurricular project I committed to help bring to fruition. We're still not finished, so that's another holiday (supposedly an extra rest day, *sigh*) consigned to the dust. I'm not complaining much since I have companions in this insanity... wait, I take that back. I am complaining, for all of us sharing this misery. This is supposed to be a 2-project team activity, damn it, where the hell are the rest of the 100?!?! And what the f--

*boinks evil psychotic self on the head, wrests control back over body*

Well, I did not intend this to turn out as a rant, but I'm not taking it back.

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And if you're wondering, yes, I intended the double meanings. Don't ask.

The mask is almost finished being tied firmly in place. - Anonymous

Happy Birthday Dad

It's my Dad's birthday today. I actually forgot until I opened my email and a reminder popped up. Whew, thank God for technology. Dad probably wouldn't have minded if I had totally forgotten to greet him - he's cool like that. 'Course, it could also be that he himself forgets birthdays and anniversaries and hence knows he has no call to be offended when others forget his. Teheehee. Although I could still greet him tomorrow and claim I'm observing his true birth date. *mad grin* (For those confused, it's a running joke that my Dad has two birthdays since my Granddad popped in August 6 as Dad's birthdate in the birth certificate.)

So I asked him how it felt to hit the big Six-Oh. He said it's about sore knees and other joints, but he can still play tennis (albeit slower now) and so all is still good. Personally, I'm proud to say he's in pretty damn fine shape for a man hitting his sixties. I can only emulate him, and hope to live a healthy life past 60. Emphasis on healthy. Anywaaay, to get back on topic before I go all the way down Morbid Lane, Dad assured me he was, on the overall, fine, then proceeded to cheerfully reduce me to a slobbering mass of homesickness by mentioning that they would be having the usual birthday fare - fried chicken, spaghetti, ice cream, and Mom's cake. I'm guessing the ice cream flavor would be Selecta's Double Dutch (it's hands down everyone's favorite, and since me or my brother is not at home right now, there'd be no need for a second gallon, haha) but I wonder what Mom's cake is - probably chiffon, but which one? Plain orange, cheese, or carrot? Only one way to find out! I grab my wand, turn and Apparate... NOT!

Deprived of my share of birthday fried chicken, spaghetti, ice cream, and cake, I took refuge in some comfort food - my stash of Cream-O Premium Vanilla Chocolate Cookies - and tried to drown myself in the online reading of Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode guides. *sniffle*

Backstreet Boys on Crack

* dies laughing *

I Want It That Way - Backstreet Boys

* For optimum viewing experience, let the whole video completely load first so that it is cached in your pc.

Sleeping Beauty - Redefined

Warning: Disturbing themes ahead.

A few weeks ago at the office, the topic over lunch was books. I can't specifically remember, but it probably started when I again squee-ed (is there such a word? well there is now) over the then upcoming Harry Potter Book 7. Anyhow, so it evolved around the Harry Potter series, so of course there were talks about other book series, like Lord of the Rings, the Wheel of Time, the Narnia collection, etc. Then we started reminiscing about favorite books during childhood and adolescence. I can't quite remember how it came to be that we started talking about weird (unusual) books we have read, and that was an interesting topic before the conversation degenerated into a parody discussion of trashy novels we used to love (and still guiltily read when we get their hands on them).

One of the weird books we discussed was Anne Rice's The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. Or maybe I should say, the Sleeping Beauty series. Okay, I've heard of these books before and had a fair idea of what they contained (thanks to the green-minded corruption one can't help but pass through in high school). Also, having read Anne Rice's Exit to Eden, I was hard-pressed to expect that this would surpass that. Still, when one of my officemates came by the next day and told me he had brought his copies of the Sleeping Beauty trilogy, I didn't refuse. Of course I would never know if I didn't at least read it, wouldn't I? It's all in the spirit of appeasing my intellectual curiosity.

So Sunday afternoon last July 15, I settled down to read the first of the series: The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty.

Six hours later...

O-kay. Well, that was different.

To give a short overview on the book: It starts from the prince's point of view as he enters the castle where Sleeping Beauty lay in an enchanted slumber. A hundred years had passed, and according to the spell, it would be about time that the enchantment came to an end. The Prince easily cuts through all the vines and roots twisting around and enters the castle, where he steadfastly refuses to believe that there is a spell causing the unnatural sleep of all the still bodies he sees littering the grounds, until he spies the source of the enchantment: Sleeping Beauty. Apparently, the Prince is a confident (read: arrogant) man who believes everything is his for the taking, because upon seeing Beauty's loveliness, he then proceeds to rip her dress away and claim her. Beauty awakens (can't really blame the poor mite), and then the whole castle does, whereupon the Prince drags her off to a private room and continues to, er, lay his claim on her. The next day, the whole castle learns that the Prince is from that ruling kingdom and that he is taking Beauty with him as his pleasure slave. And thus starts Beauty's adventures into the realm of BDSM.

At this point, after that relatively short introduction into the "story", the book continues on to tell of Beauty's sexual trials and education. From discarding her clothes and learning to go through each day in her birthday suit (unless her masters deemed it necessary for her to wear ornaments), to meeting other princes and princesses like herself who are also serving as pleasure slaves, to being treated like a whipped dog (correction: whipping dog), to performing like a naked circus animal for the amusement of the Lords and Ladies of the castle, to being punished and learning to love the punishments - by the time you read one-fourth of the book you'll have learned that going naked, for days, is actually the least of Beauty's concerns (and yours too, if you had to go through all that). By the time you get to half of the book, you'll have stopped thinking anything of nakedness or sex slaves and have progressed to thoughts of "don't these people eat?" or "is that even physically possible?" or, more frequently in my case: "...and the point is...?". I think it was at this point that I found myself slipping into my old habit of scan-reading in order to finish the book fast, and the reason for that had less to do with eagerness-to-know and more to do with wanting-it-over-with.

It doesn't take a genius to deduce that this book will not go down as one of my all-time favorites. For one thing, throughout reading the book, I always had this nagging thought of "Okay, and then? What happens next? Uh-huh, and then?" which just increased in frequency towards the end of the book. Again, not because I was excited; I was merely impatient to read the end. I felt somehow obliged to read everything - I dunno, maybe I was half-hoping something would happen that would lift the book from the pits of drudgery.

I guess part of my disappointment would also stem from my expectations of Anne Rice's work. To be fair, there was still that sense of lush imagery that was prevalent in her vampire books. But, The Claiming somehow felt more like recitations instead of story, and maybe it was the sense of pointlessness (whew! what a word!) that really rubbed me wrong. For someone who likes to read stories, this seemed like a total waste of time.

Then again, this IS a book about BDSM, so maybe I was doomed to be disappointed right from the start. On the other hand, there's still the 2nd and 3rd book to go through, so who knows? I might still find something redeeming on those.

"I have a tendency to completely miss the point." - Katherine Winter, The Reaping

The Never Ending Quiz

I place the blame solely on Marian's feet...

http://www.flixster.com/never-ending-quiz

I'm up at 2240 points, and counting. Go on, take the challenge. *wink*

Now I'm obsessed, and not even Daniel Radcliffe apparating in front of me naked is going to tear me away from my computer screen!


*blink*

Wait, on second thought...

How Evil Are You?

Looks like I've got a long way to go... *goes off to rampage*

You Are 42% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

What City Do You Belong In?

I knew it! Now to find myself a filthy-rich Frenchman...

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and expressive, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth.

What City Do You Belong In?

The Last Supper

I went with my work family to dinner last Friday night. It was a sort-of unplanned get-together that was a success exactly because it wasn't obsessively planned. Not to shoot down the feelings of the faithful few of our web who work tirelessly to organize our shenanigans :) (really, I'm in awe of their endless well of patience), but, there's much to be said about just going out there and doing it. *strike Maito Gai pose*

Anyway, the point of this entry was not about our awesomeness (yeah, especially me, wink, wink), but about... the dinner experience. Oh my. Simply... divine. Three days later and I still sigh over the memory. Okay, I'm crap with food names and titles, so I'll just describe what we ate. (It is advisable at this point to move back a little from your computer screen to avoid having drool drip in the middle of your keyboard.)

There was calamari - fried to a delicious, golden crisp, there was luscious shrimp swimming in this yummy, brown, salty-sweet sauce (it kinda reminded me of adobo sauce except thicker and sweeter; maybe teriyaki sauce, but thinner?), there was crab with thick, juicy meat - the kind that had you desperately tearing through its shell heedless of torn fingernails in search of the succulent meat, there was tahong (this one I gave a pass after tasting one - just me, I guess, since the others were plowing through the heap at an alarming rate), and sinigang na isda - the fish was some kind of pink-skinned monstrosity with teeth that looked uneasily like human ones... but the soup was wonderful. Mmmmm, yes.

It was a testament to how hungry we were that the first few minutes after the food was served there was practically no sound at our table save for the clinking of utensils that were soon enough discarded as everyone dove into the food with bare fingers. I could just feel the barely restrained impatience as arms crossed over one another and platters flew left and right, over and under. If you weren't quick, your arm could get dripped on as somebody reached across your outstretched arm and dipped their morsel into some sauce. And I swear I'm not exaggerating when I say we literally plowed through the dishes, seafood allergies be damned. I quickly felt myself getting full and fretted about not getting my fair share of everything in sight, until somebody helpfully told me to leave off the rice. Turned out to be an excellent suggestion - more room for the delightful cuisine.

Half an hour later, you could tell the urgency had faded by the way everyone was now talking to one another - as opposed to the monosyllabic words that passed for conversation during the first half hour, like "Shrimp!" and "Crab!" and "RIIIIIIIIICE!!!". The initial hunger faded, chatter had permeated the dinner table, allowing everyone to get their second wind. And yes, there would be a second wind, judging by the speculative looks cast on the remaining food on the table.

When we finally declared ourselves finished, wonder of wonders! There was still some food left on the table! It was the calamari - which makes sense since, as everyone put it (and quite scornfully, I might add): there was plenty of it being served in the food parks near our workplace. So in the face of novelty, good ol' calamari went ignored. Well, what could I do? There's only so much food I can put away (and the shrimp was sooooo yummy).

Ironic - that when my friends first bought the raw materials they worried if we'd be able to finish them all. Turns out their fears were unfounded; to quote one of my dinner mates: we all ate like we were death row inmates given a feast for our last supper. (Lucky thing there were only 12 of us, not 13, and none named Judas.) It was quite funny actually - that supper. And fun. Been a long time since we laughed like that; well, it's been a long time since we got together like that. Ahhhh... Food for the stomach and laughter = food for the heart. Can't complain, really.

Oh, and Dampa @Macapagal? I will be back.

Obligatory First Post

Okay. I've moved again. From Friendster to Spaces to here. Hopefully this will be the last, or if not last, at least one I'll stick to for more than just a few posts a year. Hopefully, this time I'll get into the habit, and stick with it. Hopefully, I'll also pick up my gym habit (anyone get the connection here? no? well then *slinks away*).

Ahhh... It's not New Year, but I find myself wishing for a lot of things. From the practical to the frivolous. One of my all-time favorites wishes is that I won't need sleep. Without the side-effects, thank you. And no, I don't mean the caffeine-induced wakefulness variety - as in, a real, honest-to-goodness no-need-to-sleep. Could probably use one of those right now - it's 2.30 am and I'm puttering around the internet, setting up my blog. And of course I need to be at the office by 8am. Ain't life grand.